Strap-on sex can be one of the most empowering and exciting ways to explore intimacy, pleasure, and power play — regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Whether you're brand new or looking to level up your experience, strap-on play is all about connection, communication, and confidence.
In this guide, we’ll cover everything you need to know to enjoy strap-on sex safely and satisfyingly — including technique tips, best positions, and important safety
Why Try Strap-On Play?
Strap-on sex is incredibly versatile and can be a thrilling addition to your sexual toolkit. It's commonly used for:
Pegging (anal penetration of someone with a penis)
Vaginal penetration for couples of all genders
Gender affirmation for trans and non-binary partners
Power dynamics, role reversal, or just switching things up
There’s no right way to do it — just the way that feels best for you and your partner(s).
Technique Tips for Strap-On Play
1. Get Comfortable in the Harness
Practice makes pleasure. Wear the harness alone first to get used to how it feels and moves. Walk around, thrust against a pillow, and adjust the straps for a secure (but not too tight) fit.
Tip: The dildo should feel like an extension of your body — not something you’re fighting with.
2. Use Plenty of Lube
Lube is essential, especially for anal play. Use a water-based or silicone-based lubricant depending on your toy’s material. Apply lube to both the toy and the area of penetration.
Never use silicone lube with silicone toys unless they’re marked as compatible.
3. Start Slow, Focus on Rhythm
Penetration with a strap-on is more about hip movement and rhythm than force. Begin slowly with shallow thrusts and communicate throughout.
Watch your partner’s body language and ask for feedback:
"Do you like this speed?”
“Want it deeper, or should I slow down?”
“How’s the angle?”
4. Don’t Skip Foreplay
Strap-on play isn’t just about penetration. Start with lots of kissing, touching, oral, or toys to build arousal. This helps the receiving partner relax, which makes penetration more pleasurable and comfortable.
Best Positions for Strap-On Sex
Different positions allow for different depths, angles, and vibes. Here are a few beginner-friendly and versatile positions to try:
1. Missionary (Receiver on Their Back)
Great for eye contact and intimacy.
Use pillows under hips for a better angle.
2. Doggy Style (Receiver on Hands and Knees)
Allows deeper penetration and a dominant feel.
Strap-on wearer can hold hips for control.
3. Cowgirl (Receiver on Top)
The receiver controls speed and depth.
Great for first-timers easing into penetration.
4. Spooning (Side-by-Side)
Comfortable and intimate.
Perfect for slower, more sensual thrusting.
5. Standing (One Partner Bent Over or Against a Wall)
Dynamic and hot, but best once you're more confident with thrust control.
Want more role-play or power dynamics? Switch up who’s in control or try dressing the part.
Safety & Hygiene Tips
Sex should always be safe, consensual, and hygienic. Here’s how to keep things worry-free:
Use Condoms on Toys
Especially if you’re:
Switching between anal and vaginal use
Sharing toys with multiple partners
Using porous toy materials
Clean Toys Thoroughly
Wash toys after every use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner. Let them dry completely before storing.
Go Slow with Anal Play
Start with smaller plugs or fingers first, and never skip lube. Anal penetration takes patience and trust.
Check In Often
Even if things are heating up, keep communication open. “Do you want more of that?” or “How does that feel?” can go a long way.
Beginner Mistakes to Avoid
Going too fast, too soon
Using a toy that's too big for your first time
Skipping lube
Not communicating
Ignoring body signals (yours or your partner’s)
Final Thoughts: Confidence Is Key
Strap-on sex is all about connection, confidence, and curiosity. Whether you’re giving or receiving, the most important tools you can bring are open communication, mutual respect, and a sense of adventure.
Take your time, explore what feels good, and don’t be afraid to laugh a little if things get awkward — it's all part of the fun.
Need help choosing the right strap-on or dildo? Check out our products here.
