Curious about strap-on play but not quite sure where to start? Or perhaps you have already given it a go and fancy trying something new?
Strap-on play can be a fun way to explore different sensations, switch things up in the bedroom, and discover what feels good for you and your partner. And despite what some people might think, strap-ons are not just for one type of couple or sexual experience. Anyone can enjoy them!
Whether you are a complete beginner or already have a favourite strap-on, a little preparation, the right equipment, and good communication can make all the difference.
Choosing the Right Strap-On
Before getting into the fun part, you need to find a strap-on that works for you.
There are plenty of different styles available, from simple harnesses with interchangeable dildos to strapless designs and vibrating strap-ons.
Harness strap-ons are a popular choice, particularly for beginners. They usually feature adjustable straps that sit around the waist and thighs, keeping the dildo securely in place. Look for something comfortable that does not dig into your skin or move around too much.
Strapless strap-ons offer a different experience. These are designed with an internal bulb that helps the wearer hold the toy in position, although some people prefer to use additional support for better control.
Vibrating strap-ons add another dimension to play, with vibration settings that can provide extra stimulation.
If you are new to strap-on play, there is no need to start with the biggest dildo you can find. A smaller, slimmer design is often easier to manage while you get used to the experience.
And remember, bigger does not automatically mean better!
Get Comfortable Before You Start
One of the biggest mistakes people make is rushing straight into penetration.
Take your time. Get comfortable with the harness, adjust the straps, and practise moving around while wearing it. You might discover that what feels perfectly comfortable standing up feels completely different when kneeling or lying down.
It is also worth having a little laugh about the awkward moments. Strap-on play does not have to look like something out of a perfectly choreographed film!
Communication is important too. Talk about what you both fancy trying, what is off limits, and how you can let each other know if something does not feel right.
The more relaxed you both feel, the more enjoyable the experience is likely to be.
Do Not Forget the Lubricant!
If there is one thing you should never skip during strap-on play, it is lubricant.
Unlike the body, a dildo does not produce natural lubrication, so adding a generous amount of lube can help reduce friction and make penetration more comfortable.
For vaginal play, a good quality water based lubricant is a versatile choice, particularly when using silicone toys.
For anal play, lubricant is even more important because the anus does not naturally lubricate itself.
Water based lubricants are generally suitable for most toy materials and condoms. Some silicone based lubricants last longer, but always check compatibility with your toy first.
And do not be afraid to stop and add more lubricant whenever you need it.
Strap-On Positions Worth Trying
You do not need to attempt anything particularly adventurous to have a great experience. Sometimes the simplest positions offer the best comfort and control.
1. Missionary โ A Great Starting Point
Missionary is a good option for beginners because both partners can see each other, communicate easily, and adjust their positioning.
The receiving partner lies on their back while the partner wearing the strap-on stays in front.
A pillow underneath the receiving partner's hips can help with positioning, but comfort should always come first.
2. Spooning โ Relaxed and Comfortable
If you prefer something a little more laid back, spooning is worth trying.
Both partners lie on their sides, facing the same direction, with the strap-on wearer behind.
This position can feel less physically demanding and allows you to take things slowly. It is also a nice choice for anyone who prefers a more intimate, relaxed experience.
3. On Top โ More Control for the Receiving Partner
Having the receiving partner on top allows them to control the pace, angle, and depth of penetration.
This can be particularly helpful for beginners because the receiving partner can make small adjustments according to what feels comfortable.
It is also a good reminder that strap-on play does not always have to involve the person wearing the harness taking the lead!
4. From Behind โ For Those Feeling More Confident
Rear entry positions are another option once both partners feel comfortable.
These positions can create a different angle of penetration, so take things slowly and communicate regularly.
Using pillows for support can make the experience more comfortable, especially if either partner finds kneeling tiring.
There is no need to force a particular position if it does not feel right. Everyone's body is different, and finding what works for you is far more important than copying something you have seen online.
What About Anal Strap-On Play?
Anal strap-on play, sometimes called pegging when a woman uses a strap-on to penetrate a male partner, is another way couples may choose to explore.
If you are curious, the most important thing is to start slowly and avoid rushing.
A smaller, smooth dildo with a rounded tip is generally a better starting point than a large or heavily textured toy.
Some people also enjoy experimenting with anal training sets before trying larger toys. These sets usually include several gradually increasing sizes, allowing you to explore what feels comfortable without jumping straight to something too big.
You can also explore other toys, such as butt plugs or prostate massagers, separately to discover different sensations.
Just remember that anal play should never involve forcing penetration or pushing through pain. If something hurts, stop, check what is causing the discomfort, and do not continue until it feels comfortable.
Technique: It Is Not About Going Faster
You might think that using a strap-on is simply a case of putting on the harness and getting started, but there is a little more to it.
Because the wearer cannot necessarily feel the dildo in the same way they would feel part of their own body, it can take practice to judge movement and positioning.
Start with gentle movements and pay attention to your partner's reactions.
Check in occasionally. Something as simple as asking, "Does that feel good?" or "Would you prefer something different?" can make a big difference.
It is also worth experimenting with different angles and positions rather than focusing on speed.
And if the harness keeps slipping or the dildo does not sit quite right, stop and adjust it. There is nothing sexy about spending the whole experience wrestling with uncomfortable straps!
Strap-On Safety: A Few Things Worth Remembering
Strap-on play should be fun and comfortable, so a little preparation goes a long way! Always choose body-safe toys, preferably made from non-porous materials such as silicone, and make sure everything is properly cleaned before and after use. Using plenty of lubricant is important, especially for anal play, as it helps reduce friction and discomfort. If you are sharing toys between partners, using condoms can help reduce the risk of spreading infections. And remember, never switch directly from anal to vaginal penetration without thoroughly cleaning the toy or changing the condom first. Make sure your harness fits securely, take things at a pace that feels comfortable for both partners, and do not be afraid to stop or change positions if something does not feel right. Most importantly, never push through pain. A little communication, patience and common sense can make the whole experience much more enjoyable!
Keep Things Fun and Pressure Free
One of the best things about exploring something new in the bedroom is discovering what you and your partner enjoy together.
You do not need to be an expert, and you certainly do not need to get everything right the first time.
There might be awkward moments, a few adjustments, or plenty of laughter along the way. That is completely normal.
Some couples enjoy strap-on play as an occasional change from their usual routine, while others make it a regular part of their sex life.
There is no right or wrong way to enjoy it, provided everyone involved is comfortable, consenting, and having fun.
Explore Strap-On Toys at PinkGrapes
Whether you are curious about trying strap-on play for the first time or looking to add something new to your collection, choosing the right toys and accessories can make all the difference.
At PinkGrapes, you can explore our range of adult toys, including dildos, butt plugs, anal training sets, prostate massagers, and lubricants to help you discover what works best for you.
From beginner friendly options to something a little more adventurous, there is always something new to explore.
And remember, the best experiences are not about complicated positions or impressive techniques. They are about feeling comfortable, communicating openly, and enjoying yourselves!